#17 – february 8: the tyranny of normal

2019. I look back at photos from that time with a bit of wonder. My 50th birthday celebration at a Chicago restaurant with friends who’d traveled from other cities. Our spring break trip to Korea with my mother. The kids’ birthday parties at one venue or another. Our then-6th grader’s first middle school dance. One … Continue reading #17 – february 8: the tyranny of normal

The Myth of White Innocence

The system is working as it was designed. What does that mean? As far as I can tell, it means the system is designed to protect the myth of white innocence at all costs. The finger is ever pointed outward, never inward. There is always an other to blame who somehow forced white men’s hands. … Continue reading The Myth of White Innocence

#16 – september 18: are we “post”?

Clearly not. There was a moment this summer, sometime in June or July when the vaccine became available for kids 12 and over, when there seemed to be a collective unclenching, a sigh of relief as we returned to some limited gatherings indoors and looked forward to a much better school year. People traveled and … Continue reading #16 – september 18: are we “post”?

#12 – december 31: ending the year in a pandemic

Every year I put together a family photo calendar with photos from the previous year arranged in chronological order month by month. 2021’s January page features pictures of us at the Chicago Botanic Garden Lightscape show and February features my younger son’s birthday party at a trampoline place that I doubt is still in business. … Continue reading #12 – december 31: ending the year in a pandemic

#11- november 25: giving thanks in a pandemic

What is the right way to give thanks in a pandemic? There are the obvious things to be thankful for: our health, our jobs, a warm house, plenty of food, each other. And there are the obvious ways not to do it: gathering in groups with those outside your household; not wearing your mask; letting … Continue reading #11- november 25: giving thanks in a pandemic

#10 – october 8: moving in a pandemic (part 2)

I’m working on a longer post about finally moving into our house after the roller coaster experience of getting through the underwriting process. But for now, in the midst of the upheaval of the national news, which seems to bring fresh horror and outrage (and some schadenfreude) nearly every hour, worn out from trying to … Continue reading #10 – october 8: moving in a pandemic (part 2)

#8 – july 26: schooling in a pandemic

Back in May, as we approached the date for “phase 3”of “Restore Illinois,” I started a post about reopening, but never finished it. One of the questions I asked in trying to wrap my mind around what a reopening might look and feel like was: Will there actually be an “after”? Well, here we are … Continue reading #8 – july 26: schooling in a pandemic

#6- april 15: this is not a war

It’s as if the war metaphors just write themselves, as if they are inevitable, the most obvious thing in the world. It’s as if we have no other language to describe what is happening than the language of war. We have workers on the frontlines, the virus is an invisible enemy we’re all fighting, battling … Continue reading #6- april 15: this is not a war

#4 – march 29: all the feelings

In the early days of the pandemic, when we all started cancelling plans, a therapist friend posted about having learned the importance of honoring all the feelings one is feeling about a thing, rather than judging them, or comparing them to others or to some abstract standard of how we should be reacting. Oh, so … Continue reading #4 – march 29: all the feelings